Loss Letters
by dong-chun-mei
Summary: [Companion to Your Memeory] MingMing and Julia starts exchanging letters not long before Gou turns three. On his birthday, Gou unknowingly confronts the woman responcible for Kai's death. [implied MingMingKaiJulia, DaichiMingMing, KaiJulia, KaiMingMing]


O.O Don't even ask where this came from... I have no clue... This is an addition to Your Memory... It takes place after the first chapter and expands on what happened to Kai a little...

Once again I own nothing but please...

Enjoy!

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_Dear Julia_

_ How've you been lately? I know it's been a while since we've spoken... I can't really blame you, but still... I guess that's what happens when life starts to get complicate. You've just got to hold on for the ride, keep going, and hope you don't go crazy along the way._

_And maybe I've gone a little crazy on my ride. Who knows? I definately don't. It's all been one thing right after another lately. Recordings, video shoots, meet-and-greets with the fans, interviews, and concerts. There's always something new for me to do every time I turn around. _

_Saying I've been busy would be the understatement of the year! In just this past week, I've been to Mexico, China, Russia, Japan, and America before finally landing in Russia. Hopefully I'll be able to slip away for a while in Moscow, and pay him a visit. He hates begin alone after all, even if he was too proud to admit it._

_Speaking of him... How's little Gou doing? He's turning three soon isn't he? Has he started asking about his father yet? He's a smart child, I'm sure he has. Well... I'll be in Tokyo next. Daichi somehow scored a ticket to the Music Video Awards. I'm going to be performing there, so we're making a weekend of it. ((Yay time off!!))_

_Wishing to hear from you! ((Please))_

_MingMing_

**Dear MingMing**

**I almost had a heart attack when I picked up my mail today and discovered you letter. I had mixed feeling about answering... but in the end decided it's best I do. After all, what happened in the past should stay there right? I'm hoping I made the right decision in doing this. but we both have to move on... don't we?**

**It's nice to hear you're doing well, and things seem to be going good between you and Daichi... That's great! You're quite popular here in Spain. It seems eveytime I turn on the radio one of your songs is being played. I can't excape you no matter where I go, can I? Okay... That was a low blow, just ignore that last part. I guess I'm still weary of you some... Even after his death.**

**I'm glad you went to see him. I had Gou in Moscow to see him a few months ago. It was the first time since we laid him to rest that I went back there. It was hard for Gou to understand, but handled it better than I thought he would. Though there was some confusion where he thought his father was a mole... ((Don't ask...)) **

**Not a day goes by he hasn't asked about him... but life is good here, even if it is hard.**

**Julia.**

_Dear Julia_

_I know the last letter was out-of-the-blue, but you've both been on my mind a lot. I'm glad you decided to answer, and if it helps, I think you did make the right decision. Then again... maybe I'm just saying that because I hoped you would. Either way, responding to my letter took guts! More guts than I'll ever have... _

_No, I can't ignore that last part. I deserve a lower blow than that... It's my fault he's gone after all. I know now hard it was to bite your lip at the funeral. If it was the opposite way around, I would've hand you thrown out on your butt. You're twice the woman I'll ever be, Julia._

_A mole? Well... it's nice to know Gou Alexander Kai Susumu Fernandez-Hiwatari ((How did you come up with that name?!)) has an active imagination! I'm happy you finally went to see him. Though I can even guess how painful that must have been. The memories of that crash still haunt me every day... I can still see his car going up in flames and hear you screaming his name._

_The guilt's eating me from the inside out. But with good reason... I just hope someday you'll forgive me for what I did... I'd do anything to have you forgive me._

_Forever sorry, MingMing_

**Dear MingMing**

**It's clear now you're not at fault for the crash. It was an accident. I should've realized that sooner. I shouldn't've blamed you for this. You don't have to beg for my forgiveness... you did nothing wrong. I was just so jealous... so full of rage and pain when he died I lashed out at you. For that I'm sorry.**

**Back then... I wanted you to suffer for something you had no control over, because I was suffer that way. When you told me you where still in love with him, I wanted rip every last perfect strand of hair from your head! And then you where... the cause of the crash. Oh how I hated you that day. **

**You say you're haunted by the crash, but every time I close my eyes, all I see is you running out into the road after that puppy, or the oil truck smashing into his car. I thought you did that to get back at me. That somehow you thought I took him from you, so you caused the crash as payback. ****But I know you didn't... you just wanted to save that little puppy... There's nothing wrong with that.**

**Inclosed in this letter is a picture of Gou. His birthday's next week... If you can make it, I'd be honoured to have you celebrate with us.**

**Love Julia**

**

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**

MingMing stuffed the letter back into her pocket and bit her lip. This was the seventh time in the last two minutes she'd tried to knock on Julia's front door. Once again, she failed miserably. Maybe she should just turn around and head back to the airport. She had a concert in Canada the next day anyway. If she arrived a little early, she could take the rest of the time off and relax in the hotel...

That actually didn't sound too bad... It would be a hell of a lot easier than facing the window of the man she loves... let alone his fatherless son. Turning on her heels, she headed back to her car, only to stop when she felt something yank on her skirt.

Looking down, she almost fainted. There, looking up at her curiously, with the same crisom orbs as his father, was Gou. Hoping her heart wouldn't give out from it's excessive beating, she forced a smile. 'Hello.' She managed.

'Hello.' He repeated, his english a heavy accent between Russian and Spanish. 'Are you MingMing?'

'Er... Yes I am.' She started cautiously.

'Mommy is inside.' His large eyes studied her face before he glanced at the door. 'Uncle Raul, Grampa Romero, Uncle Ray, and Rin just left...'

'Well... Why don't you go inside with her? I'm sure she'd love the company.' She advised, hoping the young boy would let got of her skirt so she could leave before Julia spotted her. She really didn't belong here. What was she thinking? She's shouldn't have come...

His little face looked so serious she wanted to laugh, but knew doing so would only make him cross. He was Kai Hiwatari's son after all. 'Mommy is really sad today.' He answered truthfully. 'So I came outside.'

'Oh...'

'I'm really sad too.'

'Why? It's you're birthday.'

'Cause daddy couldn't come...'

Tears MingMing had been forcing back spilled over. Dropping to her knees, she reached for the little blue-haired boy, and pulled him into her arms. 'I'm sorry Gou...'

He looked at her with that same serious look on his young face. 'Why?'

'I...'

He patted her cheek. 'Mommy says you love daddy... Do you?'

'Yes... I do.'

'Did you know me and mommy love him too?'

Guilt ate at her insides, but she managed to nod. 'Yes.. I did.'

'Did you know daddy loved us too?'

She hugged him tighter, wishing she could crawl under a rock. 'I'm sure he still loves you and your mommy very much...'

'Daddy loved you too!'

She was so shocked by the toddlers declaration, she almost dropped him. 'No... he-'

'Yes he did!' The little boy nodded furiously. 'Cause you love him, and you are sad today too, and Mommy says he did love you too, so he loved you! Mommy also said for me to call MingMing Auntie.'

MingMing gasped, there had to be some mistake... Why would Julia do that after what She did? And why would Gou ne so ready to accept her? She was a total stranger...

'Auntie?'

'Yes Gou?'

'Did you know mommy loves me too?'

'Yes I did.' I forced a smile back onto my face, and stood up with him still in my arms. Looks like she was going to make it inside after all. 'What do you say we go see if mommy is still sad?'

'Okay...' He nodded once as MingMing started back towards the house. 'Auntie?'

'Yes Gou?'

'Do you love me too?'

MingMing stopped at the door long enough to gather her courage and to push some blue hair away from his face. He really did look just like his father... 'Yes Gou... I love you more than you'll ever know...'

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O.o Well I wasn't expect it to end like that... I actually wasn't expecting to do more than to do friendship letters between Julia and MingMing... Man...

It was totally random at the end... but yeah... anyways... please review?

Dong-Chun-Mei


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